Here’s the thing people don’t really tell you about being in your early twenties: everything feels really unstable. Scrolling through Facebook makes it seem like everyone is getting married or having babies or accepting new jobs or changing zip codes. And you’re so caught up in the whirlwind of finding a job, finding a significant other, and finding yourself that it can be overwhelming. But you have a choice: you can let the change intimidate you-keep you small, scared, and bitter if someone seems to be adulting better than you. Or you can embrace the change, love hard and figure out what it means to be okay with the place you’re at, instead of stressing over where you hope to be.
It’s really hard for me to sit in one place, and stay still enough to enjoy a moment. I constantly am planning for the next stage, the next career move, or my next degree. I really struggle with appreciating time. But I drove past the Charlotte skyline yesterday as I was heading to lunch with someone who’s been in my life for years, and realized how ungrateful I’ve become. How reckless with my time. Because I haven’t been appreciating this season like I should have. I haven’t been grateful for the boring summer days, the constant chatter in my parents’ house as my sisters and I are all home, the Charlotte skyline, the time to reconnect and establish meaningful relationships.
I wept yesterday realizing the fluidity of time. One of my mentors moves this month, and so does one of my closest friends. As much as I want to avoid the inevitable goodbyes to come, I can’t hold time in my hand. It will always slip out of our grasps, no matter how tightly we clench our fists. We can’t hold onto people or places, but we can appreciate them while we have them in our midst. We can love hard, invest in relationships, and learn what it means to live in the in-between of grief and gratefulness.
The post grad season is more unpredictable than any other stage. We are growing & changing & becoming people we are proud to look at in the mirror. But instead of fighting the change, I’m just going to try & appreciate every minute I have with the people I love. No more wasted moments. Here’s to making it count.
ps: the instability can be scary but we serve a God who never changes. What a beautiful, constant truth.