Wow. When I was in church this Sunday, this nugget of truth felt like a slap in the face.
If you met me, peeked through a window into my daily life, you would see my carefully organized, color-coded planner filled with reminders, to do lists, and guidelines with which I plan my days. Planning makes me feel in control and capable. I like the sense of security it brings.
But here’s what I’ve realized: when I leave a few boxes unchecked, pages un-color coded, and blank spaces on my calendar; God has space to show up. Ordinary moments become extraordinary. Simple moments become memories. And there is room for the divine to interfere with daily life. I’ve been putting this into practice in my daily life, but find it difficult to resist the urge to plan my future.
Opening my heart to trust in the Lord’s direction, to fully accept His direction has been one of the most difficult internal struggles I’ve ever had to face. There are so many “acceptable” pathways that I can take after graduation, but nothing seems to feel like the right fit. The best way I’ve been able to explain my stress is in the form of agitated “I just don’t know.” But I think I do know. I think it’s been clear all along, I just have been too stubborn to see it.
The Lord has been keeping my future intentionally unclear, because He wants me to TRUST Him to reveal the way in His timing. He doesn’t want me to parade around with pseudo hope, but actually put my everything into trusting in His plan.
So that’s what I’ve been working on. Doing less. Giving up the things that keep me from trusting the Lord completely.
Less worrying, researching graduate schools and next steps. Less asking people about their post college plans, comparing my next steps to theirs.
And you know what? Doing less has actually allowed me to live more. In the midst of the greatest uncertainty I have ever faced, I’m feeling overwhelming peace. Because less is more.
More freedom. More joy. More wistful afternoons full of dreaming instead of planning. More peace about the future. More comfort in the uncomfortable. More life.
What’s holding you back from living your best life? From trusting God with your future? Try living less, and give up the strongholds that prevent you from accepting God’s plan. The risk is worth it.